Blessed Once More . . .

I'm gonna go on and talk about tithing for just one minute :) I've always paid my tithing but never really thought about if I was being blessed for it or not. Trust me, I have been. I've just been more aware of it. Anyone who doesn't believe in the law of Tithing needs to live it :)

Since Alan and I have been married I've been paying my tithing in big lump sums instead of every sunday after pay day like I tried to do ever since I started earning money. And I need to do better with that. I could go on and on about the different blessing that have occurred because of tithing but that's not necessary, and I wouldn't know where to begin anyways. But I will say this

There have been times where I knew we were going to be just a little short on cash and things would be tight, but we pay our tithing anyways. Later that week we'll come into some money. Just like $20 or whatever, but whatever the amount it's always greatly appreciated! Just recently we haven't been to our ward in like a month because we were spending our weekends trying to soak up time with Nic before he left. So I had my tithing set aside but we just hadn't been to church to pay it. Finally we go to our ward and Alan the night before had said "we need to pay our tithing so that we can get blessings" Not that that's why you pay tithing but I knew that I emotionally needed some blessings. Lo and behold my work week thus far has been better than I expected, I've felt a great amount of peace lately, I went to the doctor and he was able to begin helping me with some issues I've been having and, perhaps the greatest blessing of all, Alan got called in for a SECOND interview at Central Bank!!! Which he said went really well so we're keeping our fingers crossed and hoping that he gets this job!

So many times we'll be blessed with something that we can't explain or would never expect and either me or Alan will turn to each other and say "it's because we paid our tithing". And I know that it's true. The Lord has blessed me and my family in so many ways and I love when I can take a moment and recognize his hand blessing my life.

Also, for an update-

Today is Valentine's day. I hate this holiday. It's better now that I'm married, but I won't deny that it's still a stupid holiday. Me and Alan are going to celebrate on a different day so we didn't really do much today. But I know I'm lucky to have him and to know that he loves me so much means more to me than he'll ever know.

So despite this dumb holiday,

I love you Alan! Happy 7 month anniversary on the 29th :) ha ha ha

The Last Little While . . .

Nic is gone, and this past Tuesday we all said our goodbye's. It was, to say the least, the worst day I've had since Alan left for the MTC and I'm grateful that it will be years and years until I have to go through that again.

I just wanted to jot down some recent memories that I want to hold on to. One night was this night-

The Friday before Nic left our family got together and had dinner and played games, with no grand kids. K, I love the kids but I LOVE spending time with my siblings and not having to have them worry about their kids for a few minutes. We played some fun games, laughed a lot and really enjoyed each other. This night was special to me. We didn't dwell on the sadness that was coming, we just enjoyed the happiness that was there.

Another moment I want to remember is the last few moments I had with Nic. Tuesday night I talked with Nic and it was super tender (and of course I was bawling). We said some very sweet things to each other and hugged and I told him things that I'm sure he knew, but I couldn't take the risk of not telling him. Just stuff like that I loved him and he's one of my best friends and I'm proud of him, etc. I'm just glad we had a minute with just me and him, I feel like that hasn't happened for a long time and I will treasure it.

The last thing that I want to remember is probably my favorite memory of all of the past few weeks. After Nic got set apart we all went home and had one last family prayer together. Jake said the prayer and it was such a beautiful prayer. I felt the spirit and loved that moment we all had together. So instead of focusing on the hard goodbye that followed for everyone after that prayer, that prayer is what I'm trying to hold on to. It was so special.

In a nutshell, I love my family. To know that I will be with them for eternity is one of the greatest treasures I have. While the last month has been hard for everyone, I think it's brought us all closer than we realized it would. And I can't wait to be reunited again in 728 days.

An Update . . .

Just thought I should give an update and let everyone know that we're still alive. We've just been crazy busy!

I'm still working full time and that's kicking me in the butt. However we're super grateful for this job and I know that it's truly a blessing. Especially since we were able to have almost enough to pay for tuition and not have to use a student loan! Yay!

Alan is, of course, going to school. Right now he's in Biology, English, Spanish and institute. He's had a bit of a rough start this semester but knowing him I'm sure he'll pick up on things quickly and succeed :)

When I'm not dead tired from work (and even when I AM dead tired from work) we try to spend our time with our family and friends. This week we've been a tad anti social and we've spent our nights curled up in bed watching How I Met Your Mother, Arrested Development and AFV getting a good laugh before we go to bed. I love that time :)

My childhood BFF got married a few weeks ago and I'm so happy for her! Haley and Trent got married in Draper (like we did) and had the exact same sealer! Congrats to both of you!

Our good friend Trevor is FINALLY engaged :) Trevor and Krista are getting married in April and we're SO excited for them! We love having married friends :)

This past weekend we went to St. George one last time with Nic. It was me, Alan, Nic, Alli, Mom and Hillary. We had a BLAST! I took work off Friday and me and Alan drove down Thursday night. Then me and Alan slept in (which was FABULOUS!) and after getting ready for the day we went to lunch at Mongolian BBQ. After that I really wanted to go buy a new game for everyone to play when they got there so we went to the mall and I swear we spent like an hour and a half in Barnes N Noble. Loved it. We bought the game Would You Rather and Alan found a purchase that he loved so much, he was actually willing to splurge. He bought The whole series of Sherlock Holms and The Chronicles of Narnia, both of them are hardbound with beautiful covers and gold edged pages. Pretty much all of the stories each make one big book and they look like a big bible. He LOVES them :)

Anyways, now that I've spent half of my life talking about those books. We used our Red Lobster gift card that night and ate a delicious dinner and went home and waited for everyone to get to the condo. When everyone was there we went to the hot tub and then we taught Allie how to play Nerts. I'm so glad she liked it because that's seriously what we played all weekend and it's my favorite game so I was happy playing it over and over again!

We went to the Outlets on Saturday, but unfortunately I couldn't find anything to buy :( and after lunch at Jimmy John's/Taco Time we went to the temple. Nic and Alli did baptisms and the rest of us went to do sealings. It was probably the most enjoyable sealing session I've ever done :) Then we came back to the condo, played even more nerts and then went to dinner at Sakura, which was Nic's choice. Mmmmmmmm! It was so good! Their sushi was so tasty and their food, as always, never disappoints. Not to mention we had a hilarious Chinese waiter who liked to pick on me. Me, Nic and Alli went to Nielson's for ice cream and then followed that with another hot tub experience. We played more nerts and went to bed. Sunday was full of more nerts and cleaning and then we left :( As always, thanks to John and Rilla for letting us stay at the condo. We love it there :)

And now we're just down to one week before Nic leaves :( we're all just trying to mentally prepare for it but we all know it'll be hard regardless. His farewell is this Sunday and I can't wait to hear his talk :) it'll be a rough week and an even rougher two years, especially for Mom. But what a blessing it will be to have a missionary out!

I think that's it for now!

A Really Long, Sappy Post About Nic. You've Been Warned . . .

Need I say more? . . . Yes.

First of all, you're welcome for posting probably some of the ugliest pictures I could find of myself.

Second, Nic goes through the temple today and I'm so proud :) I figured now was as good a time as any to post this.

Everyone always said Nic was born for me because I have a hard time entertaining myself, and I think they were right. Me and Nic were best friends growing up, we did a lot of fun things together and I don’t remember ever fighting. Ever. For a few years we played a game called Fluffy’s Family (which the whole family LOVED because it kept me and Nic busy for hours and hours and kept us from bugging them). But me and Nic had a fun time and I have those times locked away somewhere special, because eventually we grew up.

I guess I was the first to “grow up”. When I hit about 14 (making Nic about 11) I hit my teenager stage where I was too “busy” and too “cool” to spend time with my family, especially Nic. I still loved Nic, but I was a grouchy teenager so he got on my nerves and was more annoying than I remember him being. So for a few years me and Nic were a little out of touch with each other, I regret having lost those times with him . . . but as a teenager you only think about yourself and I was no different.

It wasn’t until I was 18 that I really started to appreciate Nic. I moved to Logan and found that I really missed having Nic around and that I relied on him for humor. When I came home I really tried to balance my time with Nic and with Alan, I feel like Alan usually won though because he had the whole “I’m leaving soon” reason going for him J. Nic was actually a really big comfort to me when Alan left on his mission, and I don’t know if he really knows how grateful I am he was there. Alan left early December and then a few weeks later I was home for Christmas Break. That’s another time I’ve locked away because I feel like it’s when we really started to bond again and be like we once were. That whole break we stayed up late every night playing Monopoly or chess while watching tv or movies and just laughing and talking for hours. I don’t think Nic will ever know how much that helped me and how loved I felt at that time. As the big sister I’ve always taken it upon myself to look after Nic, even though Nic never needed it. And here he was, looking after me when I felt so alone. I will forever be grateful for that Christmas break I shared with my baby brother, who helped me pick up the pieces of my broken heart after my best friend left on his mission.

Eventually when I moved back home I went back to work at Coldstone and Nic had been hired there. I’m so grateful for this, even though Nic didn’t always enjoy it. I enjoyed it because it gave us common ground. He was finally in his “cool” teenager stage where he was hardly home, but we worked with the same people and eventually had a group of friends together because of work.

In the time Alan was gone I feel like I really grew close to Nic. We had lots of times where we were together with just us and we’d talk and laugh and sing in the car. Another time that I’ve held on to was Disneyland 2009. Nic was my buddy the whole trip because everyone was really concerned about the grandkids and getting them on all the rides. Me and Nic spent that whole trip together going on all the rides we wanted and laughing and having a good time. It was after that that I really started thinking about how life was going to be when he was gone. Me and Nic never really grew up J We had so many nights where we were up late and ended up getting in playful fights and we would laugh and laugh and laugh! For example, he tipped me over the in the recliner one night and threw toys at me. One night he threw my socks in the toilet on accident. We had an old towel that we would sneakily put in each others room to try and get rid of it. And after one night of rough housing, due to some "misfortune" I had to get a new toothbrush. As you can tell I usually lost most of the battles . . .My favorite was always the next day when mom ask us the next morning what the heck we were up to the night before.

When I got engaged to Alan he went to Spain for 2 months to study abroad. In those 2 months I decided to really enjoy the time I had left with just me and Nic. Once you’re married that changes the dynamics of things just a little bit and I knew it wouldn’t be long before Nic would be gone. I soaked in any time I had with Nic, even if it was just seeing him for 5 minutes to ask him about his day, or sitting with him on the couch watching America’s Best Dance Crew and laughing and having fun.

When I was dating, I honestly valued Nic's opinion the most. If Nic didn't like them or didn't connect with them I knew they were out for sure. And that's something that I knew Alan would pass in :) One of my favorite things has been to watch the bond between Alan and Nic grow. They are more alike than I realized J I can’t even begin to talk about how much it makes me smile when I see them doing something together and see them make each other laugh. I know that they’ve needed each other and I know that they will miss each other. Having Nic go to Argentina has deepened that bond a lot and I’m SO grateful. Because of that Alan has been able to help Nic prepare to go by helping him learn his Spanish and going over customs and stories about Argentina and helping mom buy Nic what he will really need. All in all, it’s just been amazing to watch 2 of the most important people in my life grow to love each other. I know that Alan, being the baby of the family as well, is someone who should’ve had a little sibling and I think Nic has given him that chance. I’ve really enjoyed going on double dates with Nic and spending time with Alan, him and Allie. And I know Nic will forever be grateful to Alan for the way he treats Allie and makes her feel so welcome and comfortable to our family.

I know the dynamics of our family will forever keep changing. I know that Nic leaving will leave a big hole in everyone’s lives, and I know that when he comes home he’ll eventually find some lovely lucky lady to be in our family. I’ve loved having Alan be in my family and I’m sure I’ll love whomever Nic marries, but the relationship with me and Nic is something very special. All of the times we played Fluffy’s family, stayed up and talked, played Nintendo games, watched Food Network until 3 a.m., vacations, shopping trips to the mall, music swaps, wrestling matches that I lost, all the moments that we were able to work together at Coldstone and tease each other relentlessly, I’ll hold onto those memories. And when I look back on them, I’ll smile every time and remember all of the fun we had growing up together and being each other’s buddy. I know, I know, it’s not like he’s dying or anything, but it’s just a change that I haven’t ever been ready to make, but the time has come. . . . and I'm still not ready to make it.

I know that we all will have a hard time with this adjustment, especially mom. But really, I don’t think anyone will have it harder than me. Nic has been my best buddy for as long as I can remember and just the thought of him being gone makes me want to cry and cry and cry. But I guess I just want to end with my thoughts on Nic:

Nic is certainly a breed of his own and I have no idea where he came from. He’s so outgoing and friendly and has so many friends. He’s someone that I have ALWAYS looked up to and admired. He probably never knew this, but I’ve always wanted to be like Nic. I see so many qualities in him that I’ve always wanted to have and I love my little brother so much. He’s witty, sensitive, charming, funny and so likeable. He’s amazing and I wish I could be everything that he is.

Nic, I love you and I’m so proud of you! You will leave a huge empty space when you’re gone and I’ll miss you so much. Please know how thankful I am that you’ve not only been my “annoying little brother” but you’ve been my friend. I’m so glad we’ve always gotten along and I’m so glad you were born.

So . . . Nicolas, Nic, Nucleus, Nicoli, Nicole, Nickelodeon, Nickel, Bud, Teddy, Weenie Breath, Bozo Clown, Inky Poodle, Baby Boy . . .

Knock em’ dead bro!

Yeah, about 2011 . . .

In ways it turned out how I thought it would, but I never expected it to actually happen. Last year I was hoping to be married, and now I am! It's just crazy . . . this year seriously flew by. Here's the year in review:

January-

My brother threw a killer prom/party for Lindsey for her 30th birthday

February-

I went to Disneyworld! I loved being there, it was fun to be with mom, dad, Nic and Riley. Harry Potter Land was by far THE best :D I hope I can go back one day!

-This was also when I started dating Alan officially, I knew he'd come around ;)

March-

My very first Color fest

-On March 7th Alan told me he was going to marry me. He'd said it a million times, but this time he was serious. I think I smiled all night :)

-We also looked at rings, set a date AND bought my dress

April-

He proposed on April 1st!

-I had some Vacations! St George with the girls

This wasn't St. George, but shortly after before JaNae left

-Vegas with Nic and Hill to see Yellowcard and All Time Low!

-Cali with some friends

-We also took engagement pictures

May-

-Al was in Spain for a few months

-Nic Graduated

-I did my Bridals

June- Manti Pageant

-St. George with the Fam

July- 24th of July

-The big day :D

August- Our Honeymoon! Best trip ever!

September-We moved into our first home!

October-One last trip to Powell before Nic leaves and Alan's first time fishing!

-Nicolas got his mission call to Bahia Blanca Argentina!

-Family pictures

-I also quite my job at SFCN and started working at Central Utah Clinic as a receptionist

November- This month we had our first Thanksgiving with each other's families and Alan had his surgery, which he's now fully recovered from

-We also put the tree up

December- We went to Dinner with my family

-We also had Christmas with Alan's family

-And we had Christmas with my family . . . which for some unknown reason, we have ZERO pictures. It was a good Christmas though, that much you can believe.

It's been a great and eventful year and I can't wait to see what 2012 has in store for me and Alan and my family. Hopefully it will be bring more vacations, fun events and Christmas and Mother's day will be more exciting to look forward to so that we can talk to Nic :) I'm ready for the challenges and joys that will come this year.

Bring. It. On.